When you have healthy self esteem you are able to fully engage in your life and perhaps create miracles. Self acceptance is one key to building your self worth. You might as well love yourself because you take yourself with you where ever you go.
How do you work on it? It’s simple good in = good out. Your success in life stems from your perceptions of yourself, increasing your maximum confidence. Again you may wish to listen to some confidence building Cd’s, say affirmations or any number of other techniques available. Beneath your outer cover, there is an essence of pure gold or light of who you are. You already have everything you need, to have all the joy and success you want.
Two out of three people suffer from low self esteem, so you are not alone, it’s a very common problem. Just image what the world would be like if everone felt good about themselves!
The demise of your personal value begins to decline soon after birth when your family starts telling you no you can’t do that, or “that’s bad” and even worse, “you’re bad”. That’s wrong, that was stupid, you’re not doing that right, and continues to get worse as you enter school and you get more negative feedback from teachers and the other kids around you.
Those other kids at school have learned the same bad habits of thinking from their families that you have. The attack rages on from authority figures the media, police, religious sources and a variety of other sources. It’s no wonder that by 5th grade only 20% of students have good self esteem. Did you do well in sports or get straight A’s? Or did you get hammered for failing or not doing well?
The pressure of pleasing others can be so overwhelming that taking the risk is often too great and we shrink back and avoid participating so we don’t get hurt or insulted or beat up.
Our self worth is down to 5% by the time we graduate high school. Everyone points to someone else for the responsibility of our self esteem, but it comes down to personal responsibility in the end. It’s time to stop looking on the outside for the approval of others and start looking to yourself for the solutions. You can do it, it just takes some time and effort, you can succeed in feeling good about yourself. I’ve done it, so can you!
How you look at the things that “happen to you” makes a huge difference. You are not a victim, you are a participant in your own life. If you don’t like what has been created, it’s time to start creating a life you can love and feel joy about.
What is self esteem? Loving yourself just the way you are.
We are already lovable. We need to be nurtured, loved and have structure. You get to provide it for yourself. The hidden benefit is that you get exactly what you want and need. No need to rely on someone else reading your mind or disappointing you because YOU know exactly what you want already.
Did you hear this crap from your parents too?
Who do you think you are?
You’re never going to amount to anything.
I’m so disappointed in you!
Now it’s time to take back your own power by loving, nurturing and supporting yourself by becoming the parent you never had. Even though your parents loved you, they may not have given the love or showed you love in the way you needed to received it. I know that’s my case. I have a really good relationship with my parents now, but it wasn’t always that way.
“We did the best we could” and “No one taught us how to be parents” just sounded like an excuse to me when I was younger and trying to cope with my low self esteem, but as I grew older I began to realize that that was true. All they had was what they were taught by their parents and as I began to learn what that was, I better understood why they were like they were and why they did what they did.
Even if you can’t make reparations with your parents, you can heal you life and spirit. Just let go of the past, and begin to work on your present.
Start by writing down how you would have wanted to be spoken to and what you would have wanted to be told. Something like this:
- I love you, you are wonderful.
- You can do or be anything you want.
- You are really smart.
Now, write your list, say your affirmations to yourself out loud every day. Add to the list as you think of new things you wanted to hear from your parents, teachers, friends or loved ones.
You are on your way to a new life.
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Dr. Wayne Dyer