People can be more forgiving than you can imagine.
But you have to forgive yourself.
Let go of what’s bitter and move on.
– Bill Cosby
People can be more forgiving than you can imagine.
Have you ever paid attention to what you say to yourself? I’ll bet you a nickle it’s not always very nice. And I also bet you wouldn’t let anyone else talk to you the way you do!
Yes, it seems to be a bad habit for many of us (me included).
I catch myself saying some pretty awful stuff to myself. Even though I don’t always mean it (although sometimes I do), I don’t want to be those awful things.
I’m training myself to think and be those things, and if you’re doing this, you are too.
So, I’ve been listening to “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill for about the 4th time and I’ve heard some things I didn’t hear before. This idea of Autosuggestion really hit me this time. It’s what we call Affirmations basically. But it seems like there is more too it and it’s not just about money, it’s about everything you are that you don’t want to be!
The underlying principle behind this is:
… that any idea exclusively occupying the mind turns into reality, although only to the extent that the idea is within the realms of possibility. For instance, a person without hands will not be able to make them grow back. However, if a person firmly believes that his or her asthma is disappearing, then this may actually happen, as far as the body is actually able to physically overcome or control the illness. On the other hand, thinking negatively about the illness (ex. “I am not feeling well”) will encourage both mind and body to accept this thought.
– From Wikipedia
So now, I’m being very conscious about what I say to myself, both out loud and in my head. When I catch myself saying something like “You’re old”, I quickly turn it around to ” I feel young” and try and repeat that mantra several times daily. I want my reality to be, I feel young.
So I challenge you to do the same. Change what you say to yourself, be aware of what and who you want to be, then make it so.
When you have healthy self esteem you are able to fully engage in your life and perhaps create miracles. Self acceptance is one key to building your self worth. You might as well love yourself because you take yourself with you where ever you go.
How do you work on it? It’s simple good in = good out. Your success in life stems from your perceptions of yourself, increasing your maximum confidence. Again you may wish to listen to some confidence building Cd’s, say affirmations or any number of other techniques available. Beneath your outer cover, there is an essence of pure gold or light of who you are. You already have everything you need, to have all the joy and success you want.
Two out of three people suffer from low self esteem, so you are not alone, it’s a very common problem. Just image what the world would be like if everone felt good about themselves!
The demise of your personal value begins to decline soon after birth when your family starts telling you no you can’t do that, or “that’s bad” and even worse, “you’re bad”. That’s wrong, that was stupid, you’re not doing that right, and continues to get worse as you enter school and you get more negative feedback from teachers and the other kids around you.
Those other kids at school have learned the same bad habits of thinking from their families that you have. The attack rages on from authority figures the media, police, religious sources and a variety of other sources. It’s no wonder that by 5th grade only 20% of students have good self esteem. Did you do well in sports or get straight A’s? Or did you get hammered for failing or not doing well?
The pressure of pleasing others can be so overwhelming that taking the risk is often too great and we shrink back and avoid participating so we don’t get hurt or insulted or beat up.
Our self worth is down to 5% by the time we graduate high school. Everyone points to someone else for the responsibility of our self esteem, but it comes down to personal responsibility in the end. It’s time to stop looking on the outside for the approval of others and start looking to yourself for the solutions. You can do it, it just takes some time and effort, you can succeed in feeling good about yourself. I’ve done it, so can you!
How you look at the things that “happen to you” makes a huge difference. You are not a victim, you are a participant in your own life. If you don’t like what has been created, it’s time to start creating a life you can love and feel joy about.
What is self esteem? Loving yourself just the way you are.
We are already lovable. We need to be nurtured, loved and have structure. You get to provide it for yourself. The hidden benefit is that you get exactly what you want and need. No need to rely on someone else reading your mind or disappointing you because YOU know exactly what you want already.
Did you hear this crap from your parents too?
Who do you think you are?
You’re never going to amount to anything.
I’m so disappointed in you!
Now it’s time to take back your own power by loving, nurturing and supporting yourself by becoming the parent you never had. Even though your parents loved you, they may not have given the love or showed you love in the way you needed to received it. I know that’s my case. I have a really good relationship with my parents now, but it wasn’t always that way.
“We did the best we could” and “No one taught us how to be parents” just sounded like an excuse to me when I was younger and trying to cope with my low self esteem, but as I grew older I began to realize that that was true. All they had was what they were taught by their parents and as I began to learn what that was, I better understood why they were like they were and why they did what they did.
Even if you can’t make reparations with your parents, you can heal you life and spirit. Just let go of the past, and begin to work on your present.
Start by writing down how you would have wanted to be spoken to and what you would have wanted to be told. Something like this:
- I love you, you are wonderful.
- You can do or be anything you want.
- You are really smart.
Now, write your list, say your affirmations to yourself out loud every day. Add to the list as you think of new things you wanted to hear from your parents, teachers, friends or loved ones.
You are on your way to a new life.
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Dr. Wayne Dyer
That headline may seem contrary to everything I’ve written here on this blog so far, but it can be true. Let me clarify.
Affirmations don’t work if you don’t use them correctly. First, the tendency for the mind is to have a battle between the conscious and subconscious over what is true. If your affirmation is “I feel good about myself” and currently you don’t feel good about yourself, your mind will have a little tennis match with itself when you say your affirmation. Conscious mind: I feel good about myself. Subconscious mind: That’s not true, you suck.
Back and forth your mind will go. Yes I do, No you don’t!
Most often, we give up because the subconscious mind is more powerful than the conscious mind. So, we have to be determined to overcome the negative thinking. Say your affirmations every day for at least 30 days. More is better. Say them often, at least 3 times a day. More if you find yourself thinking the opposite of the affirmation more than you are saying the positive. Yes, it’s a struggle at first, but over time you will begin to believe what you are saying and then act that way.
Affirmations to build your self esteem really do work, but you have be willing to do the work and be patient. Just keep trying, you can change your life for the good if you do.
I’ve just created this video with some affirmations for a quick self esteem boost.
I’ve paired some images with the affirmations to help you visualize the words.
Remember to feel the emotions you want as you watch the video. If you like, you can repeat the affirmations out loud as the movie plays.
Please let me know what you think by leaving your comments below.
The other day I was talking to one of my friends, and she mentioned that her counselor suggested she start using affirmations to help her make some changes in her life.
I said “Cool! I happen to know something about writing and using affirmations”.
We spent some time coming up with her affirmations and wrote a few that would get her started”
Then she said “How do I use them, and how do I remember to say them?”
Good question! Here’s what I suggested.
Write down your affirmations on 3 or 4 index cards. Put one on your nightstand, one in your purse, one on the dashboard of your car and the last one where ever you think you will see it every day. When you get in the car, pick up the card and say your affirmations out loud. When you are looking for something in your purse, pull out the card and say your affirmations, if you are in a crowd, you can say them to yourself so people don’t think you’re nuts. Before you go to bed, pick up that card off your nightstand and say your affirmations outloud again.
Next I asked if she had a bathroom mirror? She said yes! Perfect! Get some dry erase markers and write your affirmations on the mirror. When you go the get ready in the morning, read them out loud while looking at yourself in the mirror. Don’t worry if your family hears you, they’ll learn the new message about you as well.
So, that’s a simple way to imprint your new life changing thoughts on your conscious and sub-conscious mind. Say them several times daily, and you’ll start seeing results in short order.
Have you tried using self esteem affirmations yet? Healthy self esteem is critical to living and accomplishing great things in your life. Since some psychologists say that 70% of families in the world are dysfunctional, we know that the self esteem of children can suffer greatly and what we learn as children becomes the blueprint for our lives.
That’s why I love affirmations and visualizations. No, it’s not magic or some mystical being intervening in our lives, but it’s us taking control of our thoughts and deciding that we can be in charge of what we think. Affirmations are the perfect way to do this.
They are easy to come up with using some simple rules, and they are easy to do. You can say them out loud several times a day, you can read them on sticky notes or flash cards or you can record them on at tape or CD and listen to them while you are working or doing chores. You can listen quietly or just have them playing in the background.
Another extremely effective way to use affirmations to boost your self esteem is by listening to audio’s that are infused with binaural beats that
change the state of your brain, that is, they allow you to go to the alpha state or theta state where your brain is more easily changed and can learn better and faster that normal.
Here are some very easy and fun affirmations to start with. Say them out loud with enthusiasm and a smile on your face:
- I live myself, I like myself, I like myself
- I’m a wonderful person, I’m a wonderful person, I’m a wonderful person.
- I’m truly smart! I’m truly smart! I’m truly smart!
- Everyday in every way I get better and better.
- I have fun and enjoy every day.
These simple affirmations can make you feel better and make your day more joyful and productive. Try to say these self esteem affirmations at lease once per day and you will be amazed at the changes in your life!